Sunday, 21 August 2011

Spitting the dummy

Well, here I am. About a month ago, I posted that: 

"What’s keeping me here, I realise, are fear and laziness. The fear of branching out into something new (and not doing well at it) which allows my laziness about doing something about my life to survive unhindered.”

And in the last post, I wrote:

“I need a new job. I had not realised how much it was draining out all the bits that make me me. I seem to be left with an organised automaton who sure as heck isn’t paid to think!”

Well, I have taken charge and decided that I will no longer be paralysed by fear and held back by laziness and that I refuse to allow work to suck the life out of me.

So, what caused this momentous kick up the jacksy? I mean… been there… changed nothing, many, many times.

No surprises here… it was my boss, acting like a complete a*se.

I came back from my vacation to a really horrible email from him; I spent two days (out of the three I am in work) in and out of tears and eventually decided, “Hey. This just isn’t working for me any more. Life can be better than this.”

So, what am I going to do??

Well… I looked hard at what I do like about my job (yes – there were some things…!) and drew up a list. What I enjoy and what makes me feel fulfilled, is the one-on-one or small group teaching that I do and the counselling/coaching that I do. If I could do that, but be my own manager – well, that would be where I would want to be.

So, I am investigating becoming a life coach. The aim is to retrain over the next year (hopefully) and then use the days I’m not in work to build up a client base and then hand in my notice.
That’s the plan. The way things have gone at work recently, I may well spit the dummy sooner rather than later and move everything on by six months to a year!

But, the decision to make the change has made me a) sleep at nights; b) made me feel more in control and c) given me a whole new series of goals to pursue.

If you’re stuck in a rut and see no way out – do something. If you make no change, you will still be here in a year, two years, forever.

I’ll keep posting to say how it’s going!